Feel first and form follows

I am so excited to introduce you to my new friend, Doris Jeanette as we met on Twitter several weeks ago, and connected on so many levels.

Doris hosts a free Internet radio show.

Doris is a pioneer person on every level. She understands energy awareness by living it. She feels first, and form follows.

Dr. Jeanette is a licensed psychologist with a holistic psychology based on learningTheory research and healthy energy flow in the body and emotions; a Philadelphiapsychologist since 1975 when she worked with Joe Wolpe, MD at Temple Medical SchoolDoris Jeanette was proclaimed" The Siren of Spontaneity" by the Philadelphia Inquirer in 1994.

Maralyn Lois Pollack, who wrote the featured interview in the Sunday Inquirer alsonoticed that she was "warm, genuinely likable" and communicated in "honeyed tonesof her muted Southern accent."

Maralyn summarized her psychological evolution:

"Ever so incrementally, Doris Jeanette (nee Ward, formerly Keller) has expanded,and exploded, the boundaries of her traditional clinical training. She actuallyholds a doctorate in psychology from highly respectable Baylor University, and shehad a post doctoral fellowship with eminent behaviorist Joseph Wolpe, M.D. at Tempe Medical Schools, both during the 1970’s.

She’s achieved admirable electricity in her work, moving from sex therapy andfeminist therapy to the further reaches of ’new science’ With Nature as her co-therapist,Doris Jeanette’s outdoor workshops at the seashore or forest bring participantsback, she says, ’to sanity, health, and freedom."

Anyone who is into learning more about Self Esteem, Anxiety Help, Nature join Doris at her upcoming workshop, Saturday, October 17, 2009

Listening to her radio shows in her archive section is a blast, very inspiring, and feels SO good as pioneer people are starting to stick together. Not sticking together by force, but by choice.Pioneer people have this ability to be on the edge of everything like fringe people, and; at the same time, we are in the middle of everything.

I like this example as I am called an Inspiring Blind Ice Skater and totally appreciate the fantastic radio show Doris does called, living at the Edge as I live On The Edge and love living this way.

Doris recently wrote a post about yours truly calledFeel Before You Move which is so way cool. Doris also was gracious to interview me for her radio show which is now available at

This vibrant woman gets me on every level. Doctor Doris is doing a workshop in October which for me is a must attend.

You can also get Daily doses of Doris on twitter at:http://twitter.com/DorisJeanette

Another Twist On Trust

Somewhere in an older post I mentioned trust to me feels as if it is the most challenging quality for us humans to really experience fully.

Animals seem to do this easier than humans as they just live naturally without the friction and fear us humans seem to have.

It feels very exciting when the trust pays off and I get the rewards of my choices fully revealed either in payment, right choices, walking across a street and knowing I’ll get to the other side without getting hit by a car etc.

I’m not as afraid of crossing a highway or a street with my cane, but I still am amazed at myself for not always trusting myself when I skate doing foot-work which for me is more treacherous than jumps.

I’m 55 and I still do double jumps, still working on tripples, and spins, but foot-work still remains the most challenging.

It isn’t an issue of not being able to see.We went through that one many years ago when I first started ice skating.

I still persevere with the foot-work which got me thinking everyone has their foot-work of some kind to deal with, feel and work through in whatever way fits our personality.

Mine is the gentle and comfortable way as comfort leads to confidence for me, gentleness gets me stronger, and the more I practice my foot-work in gentle and comfortable ways I somehow improve.

The slower I do the foot-work, the faster it comes together and flow happens with less friction.

Trust to me feels like a fluid kind of motion when I use it, and lack of trust feels like fear or friction.

All of us have experienced entering a room and sometimes all feels well, and sometimes there is this energy that just feels a bit off, fuzzy, unease, and not necessarily uncomfortable, but off.

We try and fight this feeling, and it seems to increase the uneasy feeling and we ignore it and pretend all is well.

This uneasy feeling is something we could spend the rest of life trying to figure out so why bother.

Be with what works, and the uneasy feelings somehow get dealt with in productive and positive ways that feel better or good.

The allowing is so important.The allowing of the uneasy to be comforted by the easy without resistance does work.

It takes a bit of patience and sensitivity to sense feelings softly.

This is why trust can be sensed so gently that it becomes a transforming energy allowing life to flow more, relax more, plus being in the moment and feeling good does help.

http://www.stashskate.com/

Coaching From A Blind Persons Perspective

Someone recently asked me a question.

How do I coach ice skaters?

I am totally blind, and had to think for a minute to come up with an answer that was satisfactory.

I teach by sound.The blades don’t lie.

Blades, by the way they sound either make noise when the blades have friction, and are very quiet when blades glide as the blades have flow.

More flow, less noise. More friction, more noise.

Believe it or not, I can hear jumps by the sounds the blades make.

The jumps just like flow and friction have their sounds if one can listen closely enough to hear.

This has to do with life in my humble opinion.

This is why skating is an absolute metaphor of my life.

It represents life through flow or friction, and in each moment we have the power to choose exactly what we want or don’t want.

Skating takes patients as does living a full life.

Be patient, take your time, and all things come to those who wait.

The secret is to enjoy the moments of waiting as these moments are sometimes when real inspiration happens.

Rugby Jones does this as he knows when to move for something or wait until he’s really ready to get it.

Maybe he’s smart enough to allow it to come to him.

I feel he is smart to allow, and that’s why he’s so smart.

He goes with the flow in a real literal way.

Feeling and being free despite his so called disability he does make a difference just like I make a difference on and off of the ice.

http://www.stashskate.com/

Skating Is Poetry In Motion

This spirit will lead you if you pay attention.So just trust.

Its amazing how well life can work when I allow the inside to make the outside happen.

Creating is something we’re as a human race are just getting comfortable doing.

We all have wings of spirit.Lets finally use them.

Once you feel good enough, life becomes magical.Each human has magic in them.

Each human has spirit.Each human has a spark, and whenever this spark is lit, miracles truly do happen.

It takes courage for any human to do anything for the first time.

So lets hope that we can get lots of firsts of something from each person alive.

Keep trusting, Keep feeling, and life will be good to you.

You only get out of life what you put into life.

We already are perfect and whole.So begin from here.However you do it, just begin to do it now!

Whenever we tune inside ourselves, we find all the answers.We must do this, because if we have the question, the answer must be there as well.

Its still exciting to allow both feet to get off of the ice.This still amazes me.Jumping is something I seem to love.

If I follow my dreams, and allow my dreams to come from my heart, I will always get my results.

My skating dream took many years, and I’m just touching the surface.

I have much more too learn, and I also now know and understand I have much to offer as well.

Skating has helped me tune into my equality.This equality was always here, but was hidden for a long time.

Dreams Can Come True

http://www.stashskate.com/

Sensitivity And Boundaries

I use to think of a boundary as kind of like a punishment?

I never understood this fully until we got our puppy, several years ago and trained her from eight weeks to nine months in a crate.

She grew comfortable with her crate, occasionally would go in her crate by choice.

I suppose she felt safe there, and she intuitively knew it was her comfort area where she could do anything.

We had her toys there at night when we would go to bed, she would chew on a bone and I would listen to hear her softly and slowly fall asleep feeling calm and safe. The boundaries I am experimenting and experiencing with are incredible as the spots or dots and openings are small which has nothing to do with self worth.

It merely shows me how to feel myself, and feeling myself with dignity and diplomacy.

Diplomacy allows me to dialogue with boundaries in a very easy way that move slowly, sensitively and simple with easy, gentle and effortless movements.This is yet another way of getting to know the self.

The self beyond words and yet still uses words to expand or stretch the self from a place of a boundary as to not overstretch too much, and keep a firm but not stiff or ridgid quality.

Expanding the self, fluidity, flow and flexibility are tools I use as a coach to stimulate growth.

Growth can be gentle, comfortable and easy once we feel and start to deal with what we feel when we feel it.

Another way we can look at a boundary is a point of focus or a point of power.

Where does our power live?

For me, it is in this very moment.

Present moment, present power.

The ability to set a boundary and focus on a boundary keeps my thoughts and emotions centered on what I want.

It is also nice to know what I don’t want so I can really be clear with that which I truly want.

Focus on a dot, a spot, an opening.

None of this matters because you feel what you feel, and then deal with what you feel.

A boundary or a point of focus such as a dot or a spot in the body helps you find places inside you that are already safe and comfortable.

When I was a little boy, my Mom would play with me outside on our front lawn.

She would put things in her pocket that made noise when she walked or ran so I could hear the noise.

I would intuitively follow the sound as she either walked or ran.

I somehow used my intuition to teach her to move in tiny areas and as I got so comfortable in the tiny areas, the areas would expand.

I somehow was able to increase the size of my circle.

I do this now on and off of the ice.

This is why I am so excited to share with you the examples of dots, spots, and openings.

Life can be easy or easier if you’re still are not comfortable with easy.

Either way, life gets better.

Life flows, and life grows as life for me is an adventure always progressing and expanding.

Be safe, stay focused, and be whatever you want to be.

http://www.stashskate.com/

Independence Day Indipendent Thinking

I’ve always been fascinated with the words independence and declaration.

I know when I declare to myself a desire I truly want to achieve, the mere idea of declaring to myself it is done somehow makes a difference.

The difference for me is a felt sense of wellness or an awareness of calm assurance.

This calm assurance is an interesting sense as it indicates to me I’m on track, heading towards my desire rather than moving away from my desire.

Moving towards my desire feels like flow, as moving away from my desire feels like friction which to me is no flow or a feel of fighting instead of flow.

I sometimes get caught up in looking at everyone else and how they do their days instead of keeping on track with my day and how I want my day to develop.

This is where independence means so much for me as independent thinking allows me to think for myself.

This doesn’t mean I always discount or dismiss what the rest of the world is doing, but it does mean I pick and choose what or with whom I will participate or be with, or be a part of, and knowing all the while it is my choice.

The ability to choose is so exciting to me, and I am 55 and feel alive.

I feel more alive than I did when I was in my 40’s and I thought I was living great in those days.

Life feels like it is getting better, better, and better.

Why, maybe I am wise enough to realize thoughts matter, and I can pick which thoughts and pick which feelings I want to experience.

It for me; isn’t about clinging or clutching or holding too tight.

It is more of a sense of allowing, embracing, and flowing with my thoughts and feelings enough to keep a balance between thoughts and feelings.

Being of just being aware is the key for me.

I wish everyone everywhere the ability to think for themselves, be independent in the thinking and feeling.

The more each of us does this, we truly in my humble opinion be of true value to the world.

Ram Das once said "The world is as you see it."

Be happy on this Independence Day, 2009.

May we have the courage to think for ourselves, feel for ourselves, and welcome the exciting adventures of our future.

http://www.stashskate.com/

The Me And The We

I decided to write a bit about the Me and the We as the me is something I’m really exploring and experiencing with ease and dignity, and I am having such a blast learning and feeling me that the me is so excited it turns into the we.

Me is the self exploring of my dots, and the dots always for whatever reason only want to feel comfortable.

The dots that do not feel comfortable are dealt with dignity, and dialogues of diplomacy, nonresistance and acceptance which allows the dots just to be the dots without judging the dots.

I could call them dots of doubt as I like the way rhythm and rhyme flow, plus the screen reader sounds really cool when it reads words that sound good together in a fluid manner.

Feeling me in a fluid way somehow allows me to experience life through the combination of thinking and feeling.

Being able to feel some part of me that already works helps.

It gets me inspired knowing something in my life already works well.

Flow on the ice as well as off of the ice for me feels good and by using this sense of myself motivates me to flow more, feel more, and more things in my life really start to connect from the inside out to create more things that work in my life.

I use to feel that focusing so much on me was selfish.

Now; selfish to me feels like self absorbed like a sponge that is full and nowhere to go and not very comfortable.

My new friend, Rugby Jones does this.

He gets so much into his me, that he becomes the we just because he knows himself so well.

When he is hungry, he asks for food, and when he is thirsty, he asks for a drink etc.

Wherever he goes, and whatever he does he somehow manages to do it with dignity.

This happens because he totally knows and loves himself.

Another twist on the word selfish, it allows me to be so involved with myself that by involving myself with everything I am feeling or thinking extends and expands my awareness of self so much that it becomes We.

It is getting clear to me that me has to be sensed, studied, and developed enough to become the We.

Me involves, and we evolves.

If this be the case then knowing me enough and loving me enough turns me into the we, where real evolution happens.

This is the shift many I feel are sensing.

The me, so involved with itself actually becomes the we, which always evolves and somehow knows how to feel life as connected, united, not separate but always whole just by being the self.

Birthed from sensing the me which turns into the we for me; is a physical experience changing the way I live, breathe, and move because of me merely being myself.

Be with the little parts of the me that already function and feel fluid or flow, and more flow will happen.

I felt this flash of inspiration when thought of the words

Charity Begins At Home.

Give to your me so much that it overflows and becomes the We.

Same lessons revisited? Maybe, but remember,

words validate something inside us that we already know.

Experiment with the me and the We and let me know what happens.

We Do Make A Difference

Last Thursday, our adult skating group had our final skate of the season.

Summer is coming, and the schedule gets crazy, kids out of school, more summer camps for figure skating, hockey, and public sessions can be a bit wild.

After we skate, we go to lunch.

This week the group was extremely large.

Some folks were doing ice dance, I did free skating, jumps, spins, and some just stroked around the edges of the rink and chatted as they skated.

I was careful as to skate with sensitivity and not get in the dancers patterns.

It can be interesting getting dance and free skating together as we as jumpers have our patterns, and dancers have their patterns.

Our group gets along well.Actually; more than well.We get along great, help each other, and somehow inspire each other, and we as a group seem to know when someone needs help on or off the ice.

I did the usual experimenting with blades and remembered a dream I had the night before about jumping and how the jumps felt was so amazing in my dream.

I thought I would do some more experimenting and could I duplicate my dream on the ice?

I started physically doing the things I did in my dream.

My jumps felt good, I felt comfortable, and didn’t think too much about it as I was having so much fun experimenting and enjoying the sounds of fellow skaters laughing, gliding past, talking as they would skate by, and occasionally someone would say that jump or spin looked good.

Whatever I tried, whatever I thought I wouldn’t or sometimes couldn’t do, I did.

Some of my foot-work, the brackets and rockers and counters honestly can look sloppy.

That’s why I have to feel first and form follows, but; when I’m in a hurry I want form first and who cares if I really feel.

I just want the turns finished!

There is a school of thought in skating that says

If you have great edges, jumping is the most easy thing in skating.

I have to tell you this school of thought works for me.

The less I forced, I experienced more flow, and fun plus I had less friction, with more speed, power, glide, and comfort.

During lunch, I got to sit accrossfrom Kip and Joyce, the newest of the group only connecting with our group early April of 2009 or late March.

They made such a hit with the group, and Kip with his cross overs inspires me and Joyce with her wanting technical info about skating always keeps me on my toes.

I got to sit next to Bill, who is a fearless adult skater, 60 years young or a few years plus, but who cares.

He is absolutely fearless.We lovingly sometimes joke with him and call him Wild Bill.

He can do way more than skating.

He does that hand gliding thing, probably climbs mountains, has so much fun with his dances and turned himself from a pure hockey skater to a figure skater now doing dance.

I respect him so much for his freedom and fearless approach to skating.

He was kind enough to read me the menu as he borrowed glasses from his wonderful wife, Carol, who recently passed two dance tests with ease and grace.

Bill was so patient reading me the menu with such care, managing to describe everything perfect.

While we were eating, several folks commented how nice my Axles looked,

which made me feel good.

I had lost the feel of the Axle a few months ago, and it felt wonderful knowing people could see the Axles landed and they looked nice.

When jumps feel too easy, I get somewhat suspicious, and now I am finally learning

That ease is the way for my skating.

If that wasn’t enough, Hank told me he actually did forward cross overs.

I am so proud of my friend, Hank who turned 89 in April finally did his forward cross overs his way.

He says he felt comfortable and the cross overs just happened.

Five or six weeks ago, Hank got a helmet as he saw one in a sports store and thought it would be a good idea to skate with a helmet in case he took an unexpected fall.

He did fall, and fall hard he did.Hank fell on his back trying a cross over about a week after he got his new helmet.

The helmet took the bulk of the fall; although he was stiff a few days, and he went right back trying cross overs as if nothing happened.

I asked him what made him try cross overs after the fall?He says he realized what he did wrong, and wanted to see if he could correct his mistake which made him fall.

He always says profound things, and I learn so much from Hank.

His wise words of wisdom said he went too fast, tried to fly before he was sensitive, and you know the rest.

His courage and love for skating never ceases to amaze me and the other piece of this story is how Hank has the courage to allow a totally blind skater teach him edges, stroking, and the cross over when done well feels and looks spectacular.

Yes; we have a bunch of skaters that I feel are special.

Many of the skaters in our adult group are in their 70’s, and Hank is 89, Dick, a former skater is 98 and enjoyed watching me demonstrate brackets on the floor after we got off the ice.

Dick use to be a high level ice dancer and still has sharp eyes, and an honest tongue.

One of our skaters will have a hip replaced this fall, another had a knee replaced several years ago, and I’m waiting for eye replacements, and will be waiting a long time.

My new friends,

Rugby Jones and

Glenda

inspire me to new heights of awareness.

If they can do it.Then I can do it.

One person at a time.We do make a difference.

http://www.stashskate.com/

When Connections Click

Did you ever go through a cycle where you just were existing, and nothing excited you?

Even though life isn’t bad, and is really good, and beyond good to great.

Then why the restless feeling like something is missing?

I am grateful of my accomplishments and judge some of my accomplishments in the past few years as really good ones, and border on great.

I coauthored a book, have been doing some speaking engagements, skating well, have adult students on and off of the ice that appreciate and can’t wait for their next sensitive energy coaching session or skating experience with me on or off the ice.

So; what is missing, and what’s wrong?

This past Friday, May 29, 2009 something profound and life changing happened.

The feeling of restless and missing something is gone as I met a new friend for life I’m sure.

Claudia, someone I met at a conference in early 2008 visited me and brought her 12 year old dog for a visit.

Rugby Joanes is his name, and he does everything I do, and more.

He had an accident several years ago and now can’t use his back legs, but nothing stops him.Visit him at http://claudiabroome.com/blog/ and you will understand why this means so much to me.

His picture is worth at least a thousand words or more.

Rugby Joans got out of his box as I am trying to do, and meeting him validated something so important for me.

We all are whole whether the body has all of the parts working or not working.Something remains totally and completely whole.

I’m starting to connect to the part of me that somehow is sensitive and completely whole.

I am doing this because my friend, Rugby Joans did it.

If he can do it, we all can do it if we choose.

This takes patience and courage.

The change first starts in our mind, and then we feel, and then we deal with that which we feel.

Thanks again,

Rugby Jones and

Claudia

Straight From The Heart,

Stash Serafin

Resist Or Relax

Last month, my pair partner and I debuted our number to an audience at a local show.

We only skate together once a week during our lesson and we never get too much time to practice unless our lesson is canceled and we get extra time to go through our elements slowly and create new ideas for future moves.

The week of the show, we had to reschedule our lesson as I had a funeral to attend.

The lesson was great, and we managed to do the lesson at the rink where the show took place so I got a real sense of the ice, the temperature of the rink, and the sound system which was great.

We arrived for dress rehearsal a few days later with a curtain up; beautiful colored materials decorating the rink surround the barrier which muffled the sound for me.

I didn’t get any warm up only a tiny piece of ice behind the curtain which was better than nothing.

The audience seemed appreciative of our offering, and the applause felt good.

My partner, Eileen has so much courage skating with a totally blind skater.

We somehow feel each other before we connect, and sometimes our connections need work but that’s part of pair skating.

I occasionally joke with Eileen and say we are The Blind and the Beautiful.

I was asked how can I skate without a real warm up.

I had to think, and since I get very little ice time myself as I am either teaching others or doing Sensitive Energy Coaching off of the ice my time is limited.

This use to disturb me as my time is getting less and less on the ice and more and more off of the ice.

I thought I was ready for retirement a few months ago as I had concerns about skating with Eileen who is so patient with me, and always watches, as I feel so we have a unique relationship on and off of the ice.

Sometimes she is my eyes, and sometimes I see things through my senses that she doesn’t see.

This makes our arrangement always interesting, and we are truly always on the edge of experiencing skating in new and fun ways.

What happened as the less I skate, the more gentle I am getting plus the less I skate, the more sensitive I am becoming.

It hit me.

Lack of resistance without really trying to reduce my resistance.

When I skate or exercise off of the ice, I feel what works in my body and only work with those areas of my body that feel like working.

Going with the flow, feeling what feels good and using that as my exercise plan helps me warm up without skating if there is no ice available.

There is also an issue of crowded ice conditions if I am invited to exhibit in a show and there are many skaters on the ice.

This can be a risk for me as well as the other skaters as the music in warm up usually is quite loud to get the skaters inspired for the performance.

So; staying with what works eases my resistance, I begin to relax and therefore my skating flows instead of having friction.

Maybe it is the feel of the flow, the lack of resistance, and the relaxation that combine and connect to form something really magical for me as I skate.

This was the first time I felt totally comfortable performing with Eileen and was not really nervous.

I have elements that can be improved upon, but who doesn’t as a skater.

I heard the audience respond in favorable ways when we did our side by side single Toe-Loops, our spirals, and our ending pose was cool.

I look forward to our next show together as well as when I get invited to do solo skating as I still do free style and jump like a fool and enjoy performing more as I remind myself to relax more and resist less.

http://www.stashskate.com/